October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. My first pregnancy (miscarriage) was due October 1st so this is always very timely. And what a way to start out a marriage – infertility (had no idea until we started trying), millions of doctors appointments, shots, IUI’s, and recurrent miscarriages.
I do feel compelled to bring awareness to pregnancy loss because although it’s so common, I have always felt like it’s a taboo subject and shouldn’t be talked about. Many people get uncomfortable and don’t know what to say.
For me, it helped to have a core group of people to share everything with; where I was in a treatment cycle, positive/negative pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, my fears and anxiety, etc. It helped me get through hard times and when we did have miscarriages, those people were there for me.
I have learned a lot throughout this journey and a major lesson has been being able to support women through infertility and miscarriage. I have heard some really hurtful things (but well-intentioned). And I may have said them to other women had I not been through multiple miscarriages myself.
Because it is so common, you likely have had a miscarriage, know someone that has had one, or will encounter someone going through a miscarriage. So I want to outline some things here of what’s helpful vs. hurtful to say/do.
Throughout the month of October, I will be posting here and there about pregnancy loss because again, this is something that changed my life in so many ways and I want to bring awareness to the subject and let other women and families know that they aren’t alone.





