How to Support Someone Through Pregnancy Loss

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. My first pregnancy (miscarriage) was due October 1st so this is always very timely. And what a way to start out a marriage – infertility (had no idea until we started trying), millions of doctors appointments, shots, IUI’s, and recurrent miscarriages.

I do feel compelled to bring awareness to pregnancy loss because although it’s so common, I have always felt like it’s a taboo subject and shouldn’t be talked about. Many people get uncomfortable and don’t know what to say.

For me, it helped to have a core group of people to share everything with; where I was in a treatment cycle, positive/negative pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, my fears and anxiety, etc. It helped me get through hard times and when we did have miscarriages, those people were there for me.

I have learned a lot throughout this journey and a major lesson has been being able to support women through infertility and miscarriage. I have heard some really hurtful things (but well-intentioned). And I may have said them to other women had I not been through multiple miscarriages myself.

Because it is so common, you likely have had a miscarriage, know someone that has had one, or will encounter someone going through a miscarriage. So I want to outline some things here of what’s helpful vs. hurtful to say/do.

Throughout the month of October, I will be posting here and there about pregnancy loss because again, this is something that changed my life in so many ways and I want to bring awareness to the subject and let other women and families know that they aren’t alone.